Does Life Own YOU or do YOU Own Life?

personal development Feb 03, 2022

" If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much. - Jim Rohn" 

As we go through life, addressing our desires, needs, goals, and actions are imperative. Sometimes that is on a regular and consistent basis. That may be weekly, monthly or quarterly or even for some on an "as needed basis". Life yet has the uncanny ability to start new or delay our well-defined plans. In fact, it can also speed up our plans.

If you reflect on your current life status are there areas that make you cringe? Even a little. Career, finances, relationship, the family are they in a space where you are "getting by". Going month to month on a paycheck, stagnant in a relationship, hating your job, overwhelmed? If these feelings are prevalent then it indicates that Life is "drudgery". Some even say it is your soul crying out for change.

Your everyday routine has several elements of necessity, not ones of desirous choice. There is no doubt that society has burdened us with this facet of life. The pressures to succeed, to pay the bills, to live where we live.

Navigating the meandering river of the material needs occupies so much space in our mind. My brain hurts! As we proceed down the river we are looking for rocks, floating objects, sandbars. Being cognizant of keeping ourselves safe even when feeling pressured. The pressure then changes our emotions, our emotions trigger stress and stress......

Well, stress impacts our well-being taking us further down that slippery slope. Heading downriver towards the rapids and waterfall. We can become reactive in nature. Beating ourselves up and becoming lethargic to opportunities. Life now owns us.

Our bucket list, our dreams, our Mojo becomes diluted. We see no light at the end of the tunnel. For some, we do not even see the tunnel opening. Life becomes a mundane routine - grabbing a snack here, a coffee there, skipping meals, laundry piles up. As long as you don't forget to pick up the kids from daycare. Texting loved ones and friends yet creating an impersonal disconnect from true connection.

So now you are on that river that has life being one full of necessities. Being on the river in a boat is far better than straddling a wooden raft. Yet when and how do you steer that boat or raft back to shore?

First, it comes from introspection and awareness. Introspection gives you the insight into yourself by reviewing your current life. In all, it requires the courage to be open to all aspects of you - the deliberate, the controlling, the adventurous.

From this introspection comes the walking to the top of the mountain to watch the sunset. As the sunset falls you become aware of choices in key areas of life - relationship, career, wellness. Which area do you wish to tackle first? Pick one.

Focus on the jetty or river bank to get to a steady mooring point. You are now ready to begin the disciplined process of reviewing each area of focus. But it still sucks you may say as you feel trapped in life.

Your ego and insecurities will begin to thwart you by questioning every thought. Telling you how there is too much to overcome. The jetty is way too far. Why bother?

You force yourself to dream of something sweet to nurture you in your area of focus. Focus turns into ideas, which in turn excites. Excitement triggers an emotion of positive action.

Motivation begins to stir, like a whisk in a bowl of cake mix. The whisk rotors struggle in the thick batter, but with the addition of milk and eggs, the batter softens. The whisk rotors are less strained and the batter blends into a nice smooth cake mix. We are becoming motivated we have begun the foundation of cutting the cords of Life Owning You. We have the basic cake mix batter, what other specific extra ingredients do you wish to add.

Let us have as an example a stagnant, uninspiring job as a point of focus. Our job owns a big piece of our life as it handles providing income for our family, provides material wealth. A home, cars, vacations, and lifestyle are a result of my job's income. Yet my job is:

  • stagnant
  • stressful
  • seems to have no career path for promotion
  • lacks challenge
  • poor supervisors or mentors

Our job hence can be stressful. Stress hormones shut you down, your perceptions get converted into chemistry. Chemistry controls behaviour and gene expression as well. A snowball rolling downhill.

How do you switch things around such that you own the job's influence in your life? Without guilt.

First, we must set the intention to wish to change our relationship with our job environment. Time to own our life.

  • reflect upon your level of job satisfaction (including peers, management, promotion path, income)
  • are you wishing for a change in your vocation
  • where else might you choose to live and work
  • is further education a possibility/desire
  • reduced work week/work from home capability

For each of the above questions, you should set a goal or start specific tasks. This is to then put you on the path of owning your life.

Own your life means to recognize that there are challenges, losses and such like. Setting a vision and taking action, but small steps you are moving forward in each moment. Rank those areas of focus and work in parallel to reclaim your life.

Take responsibility for everything that you co-create in your life. Dream big. Own it all.