Stop the Blame Game

personal development Apr 13, 2022

Hands up if you participate in the Blame Game! Really, you don’t or is that a half hearted admittance to participating depending on the situation. Wow, your hand went straight up.

Whichever category above you chose to place yourself in when being asked about your propensity for assigning blame know that it is OK. There are instances where there is a valid and specific component or rationale as to why something did not go to plan or as expected. It also may be a perfectly valid datapoint (or individual) that we can point to to assign blame.

Do You Blame Circumstances?

However often our upbringing and life experiences have often steered us down a path where we often choose to “blame” our circumstances or environment for things that occur in our life. Now, there are many things in life that naturally have a very subjective component and for me blame is one of them. For me the energy and intention behind the statement plays a role as to whether we are in the negative vein of blame or whether we can redirect the issue to a more positive explanation of the situation.

For example, if awaiting a replacement part for a piece of equipment that you committed to your supervisor to be online on a certain date and it is held up in customs or by a shipping delay that guarantees not being able to meet your deadline you could state to your manager – “It’s not my fault in missing the date it was because of customs” or you could state “Sadly I am unable to bring the equipment online as planned due to the part being held up in customs but the target is a 4 day delay”. There is a subtle difference in the energy of the words. And we all know how a difference in tone can result in our communications being misinterpreted.Right!

Why Not Blame Circumstances?

So what is wrong with engaging in the Blame Game? Absolutely nothing. However by engaging in the Blame Game you are in effect limiting yourself, perhaps even programming your consciousness (particularly the subconscious part) that there are things that limit us and we cannot change it but we can rationalize it away as someone else’s fault or problem. By not accepting the association of blame principle in life then whatever you are faced with you will always look first for a solution forward.
Some of the easiest things to lay blame to include:

  • I didn’t get to do that last month because of [fill in the blank]
  • My supervisor hates me so I won’t get a pay raise (promotion)
  • It was their/your fault
  • peers or partners behavior flaws – you didn’t listen to me, you did [such-and-such]

The blame game comes up when our expectations are not met or feelings are hurt. It is a means to deflect the real issue relating to ourselves in some cases and avoiding conflict but innately it can create more conflict since the energy is not heart based or with an intention to finding a compromising solution.

How do you play the Blame Game?